THE FIVE BEST PLACES TO FIND A TADPOLE:
FIVE GREAT WAYS TO STAY YOUNG:
- Sporting Events
- Car Shows
- Golf Courses
- Men's Clothing Stores
- The Gym
TOP FIVE WARDROBE MISTAKES THE OLDER WOMAN MAKES:
- Laugh it off!
- Take a short nap or meditate every day
- Lift weights & stretch your body every day
- Moisturize your skin twice a day or more
- Keep learning --it's sexy!
TOP FIVE ADVANTAGES TO DATING A YOUNGER MAN:
- Too short
- Too tight
- Too revealing
- Too young
- Sweat pants
THE TEN WORST PICK-UP LINES:
- No down time waiting for the Viagra to kick in
- Tadpoles are nocturnal. That means they stay awake past 10:00 pm
- He doesn't have to be introduced to your parents for approval
- He can dance and have sex in the same evening
- The glow on your face
- My name is (insert name of appropriate jerk)...remember that, because you will be screaming it later.
- Hello, I'm Mister Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
- Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over here and talk to you.
- I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
- Nice legs! What time do they open?
- Are those real? I mean your eyes, of course.
- That dress is fabulous. It would look even better crumpled in a heap on my bedroom floor.
- Can I buy you a drink or would you just like the money?
- If I were you, I'd have sex with me.
- I know women like presents. Would you like to open my package?